A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!  Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.  Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.  We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.  As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving license.

"I'm sorry Mrs Smith but it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving."

"Well," replies the woman, "I have contacts."

"I don't care who you know,

you're still going to get a ticket."

My boss skipped work today.

He called this morning and said he was haveing a vision problem.

When I asked him what was wrong, he replied, "I just can't see myself at work today."

A woman accompanies her husband to the doctor's.

After his check-up, the doctor calls the wife back.

"Your husband is suffering from a severe stress disorder," he says. "If you don't do the following, he will die."

The doctor explains: "Each morning, make him healthy breakfast. Be pleasant to him at all times. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal. In the evening, prepere something exceptional for him, because it's important he eats as varied a diet as possible. Don't burden him wiht chores. Don't discuss your problems with him. And most importantly, make love to him at least six times a week. If you can do this for the next year, I think your husband will regain his health."

On the way home, the husband asks his wife, "What did the doctor say to you?"

"He said you're going to die."