A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a pint of bitter.
The bartender charges him 5 pounds.
"Do you know you're the first gorilla we've had in this bar for years," the bartender says.
"At a fiver a pint," replies the gorilla, "I'm not surprised."
Two guys are sitting at a bar.
One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, "I slept with your mother!"
The bar gets quiet as everyone is expecting what the other one will do.
The first yells again, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
The other one simply replies, "Go home dad, you're so drunk."
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman go into a bar.
The bartender sighs and says, "Look, is this some sort of a joke?"
A Bear goes into a bar and says, "Can I have a gin and....(a minute later)....tonic please?"
The bartender serves him and says, "Sure, but why thi big pause?"
The Bear looking at his paws says, "Don't know, I've always had them."