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Nuclear plant test details lost by offic…
17 Feb 2012 A member of staff from the Health and...
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Occupy London protesters said today they could not guarantee a peaceful exit if they are evicted from St Paul's next week. Three High Court judges yesterday reserved judgment on...
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Jonathan Prynn and Joe Murphy 24 Jan 2012 Britain's debt mountain...
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Craig Woodhouse, Political Reporter[1] 27 Jan 2012 The body in charge of cutting government waste was accused of "shocking hypocrisy" today for employing a top...
Find out moreVocational courses face shake-up
31 Jan 2012 Just 70 vocational qualifications will count towards a...
Find out moreStaff morale at 'rock bottom' in Eric Pi…
Craig Woodhouse, Political Reporter[1] 2 Feb 2012 MORALE at Eric Pickles's department has plunged to the lowest levels in Whitehall over the last year, an...
Find out moreChildren's horror at zoo as lion eats ow…
Kiran Randhawa[1] 31 Jan 2012 Children visiting a zoo were left in tears after an owl taking part in a display was caught and eaten...
Find out moreAdele savours six Grammy victories
13 Feb 2012 Songstress Adele and the late Amy Winehouse led...
Find out moreOwner fined for cockroach-infested hotel
Jack Rivlin 26 Jan 2012 A hotel was so riddled with...
Find out moreSquatters and residents clash over raves
Evening Standard 20 Feb 2012 Squatters holding 24-hour raves...
Find out moreGreek MPs begin vital cuts debate
12 Feb 2012 Greek MPs have begun debating legislation introducing severe...
Find out more6% increase in cosmetic surgery
30 Jan 2012 The number of people going under the knife...
Find out more10 killed in US pile-up 'like end of the…
Evening Standard 30 Jan 2012 AT least 10 people...
Find out morePM 'shutting out' NHS bill critics
19 Feb 2012 David Cameron is facing pressure to allow healthcare...
Find out moreI only pay 13 per cent tax on my fortune…
Richard Porritt 24 Jan 2012 Mitt Romney bowed to increasing political...
Find out moreCrash teacher's family 'devastated'
19 Feb 2012 The family of a 59-year-old teacher who died...
Find out moreTrader accused of City's biggest ever fr…
Benedict Moore-Bridger[1] 30 Jan 2012 A banker accused of gambling away £1.5 billion in the City's biggest fraud today denied the charges. Kweku Adoboli, 31,...
Find out moreBaby P council 'blundered' on mother's a…
Kiran Randhawa[1] 10 Feb 2012 The council that failed Baby P was today accused of blunders in another child protection case. Last year it was...
Find out moreHelp us raise 50,000 to give Mia a chanc…
A mother today made an emotional plea to Londoners to help her five-year-old daughter walk unaided for the first time. Jayde Michael, 24, was told that her daughter Mia...
Find out moreClosing time in King's Road as shops fal…
Jonathan Prynn and Tom Harper 15 Feb 2012 King's Road is...
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Jokes Bar Jokes
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Bar Jokes (5)
A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a pint of bitter.
The bartender charges him 5 pounds.
"Do you know you're the first gorilla we've had in this bar for years," the bartender says.
"At a fiver a pint," replies the gorilla, "I'm not surprised."
Two guys are sitting at a bar.
One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, "I slept with your mother!"
The bar gets quiet as everyone is expecting what the other one will do.
The first yells again, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
The other one simply replies, "Go home dad, you're so drunk."
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman go into a bar.
The bartender sighs and says, "Look, is this some sort of a joke?"
A Bear goes into a bar and says, "Can I have a gin and....(a minute later)....tonic please?"
The bartender serves him and says, "Sure, but why thi big pause?"
The Bear looking at his paws says, "Don't know, I've always had them."
A horse goes into a bar.
The bartender says: "What's with the long face?"
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