A policeman pulled over a car and strolled up to the driver's window:
"Excuse me sir, but do you know that you're driving without a rear light?"
The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car and let out a whimpering groan.
The driver seemed so genuinely distressed that the policeman took a sympathetic view:
"Don't take it that hard; it's not all that serious an offence..."
"Isn't it?" the driver cried, "Where's my caravan gone?"
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive!
A truck driver was on his way to London Zoo with a lorry load of penguns, when the truck broke down on the motorway. Concerned about his cargo, the driver flagged down another truck driver and persuaded him to take the animals for him to London Zoo.
After getting his own truck repaired, the first driver carried on to London to make sure that the penguins arrived safely.
As he approached the zoo, he was amazed to see the other driver walking along the pavement with all the penguins flapping and tripping along behind him.
"You were supposed to take those penguins to the zoo!" shouted the first driver.
"And I did," said the second. "Now we're going to the movies."
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said 'Parking Fine'. Isn't that nice?!