A woman accompanies her husband to the doctor's.

After his check-up, the doctor calls the wife back.

"Your husband is suffering from a severe stress disorder," he says. "If you don't do the following, he will die."

The doctor explains: "Each morning, make him healthy breakfast. Be pleasant to him at all times. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal. In the evening, prepere something exceptional for him, because it's important he eats as varied a diet as possible. Don't burden him wiht chores. Don't discuss your problems with him. And most importantly, make love to him at least six times a week. If you can do this for the next year, I think your husband will regain his health."

On the way home, the husband asks his wife, "What did the doctor say to you?"

"He said you're going to die."

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness?

It means you're in the wrong house."

Qwestion: Why is the marriage a three-ring circus?

Answer: First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring and then the sufferRing.

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and found absolutely nothing physicaly wrong with him, then sent him to his colegue psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist looked at the man and said to him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you."

"I know," said the man, "but my wife refuses to sleep alone."

After marrying a sweet young woman, a 90-year-old gent tells his doctor that they are expecting a baby.

"Let me tell you a story," says the doctor.

"An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly a bear charged him. Pointing his umbrella at the bear, he shot and killed it on the spot."

"But that's impossible!" the old man exclaims. "Somebody else must have shot that bear!"

"Exactly my point," replies the doctor.

Q: Do you know why Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage?

A: He didn't have to listen to her talk about all the other men she COULD have married, and she didn't have to put up with his Mother!