A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving license.

"I'm sorry Mrs Smith but it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving."

"Well," replies the woman, "I have contacts."

"I don't care who you know,

you're still going to get a ticket."

A policeman pulled over a car and strolled up to the driver's window:

"Excuse me sir, but do you know that you're driving without a rear light?"

The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car and let out a whimpering groan.

The driver seemed so genuinely distressed that the policeman took a sympathetic view:

"Don't take it that hard; it's not all that serious an offence..."

"Isn't it?" the driver cried, "Where's my caravan gone?"

A small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"

The copper said, "What's he like?"

The boy replied, "Beer and women!"