Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," St. Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "These represent bells."

Saint Peter let him through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

Saint Peter looked at him with raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do these symbolize?"

The man replied, "They are Carol's".

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes."

The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want one billion pounds in a Swiss bank account."

Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here."

Phoof! There is a flash of light and a bright red brand new Ferrari appears right on the beach. He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women."

Phoof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.