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Make piano your forte at City festival
Fifty of the eye-catching pianos will be placed in parks, squares and open spaces to encourage the public to play them during the City of London Festival, which runs...
Find out moreLegal block to inquest into Duggan's dea…
The family of the 29-year-old, whose fatal shooting by Scotland Yard triggered the London riots last summer, today accused the authorities of withholding information. A coroner holding a pre-inquest...
Find out moreBoris bites a bloomer
So my hopes were up when he made a beeline for a branch of Wenzel’s bakery when out campaigning in Pinner this morning. A great new chapter in the...
Find out moreTory chief behind Westminster ‘nightlife…
Colin Barrow, who quit as leader in January at the height of the row over evening and Sunday parking charges, has now resigned his council seat. The multi-millionaire hedge...
Find out moreFuel strike: Francis Maude fuels crisis …
He was humiliatingly slapped down by the Fire Brigades Union which warned that stockpiling fuel in homes, garages or sheds could lead to “disastrous” blazes. Mr Maude had been...
Find out moreSCIPMYLO Festival
Head to East London for an irresistible mix of entertainment, activities and party atmosphere at the SCIPMYLO Festival. SCIPMYLO Festival at Hackney Marshes SCIPMYLO – that’s "Olympics" backwards...
Find out more‘Like the NHS, libraries are a vital fre…
At 27 schools cross the capital, 2,735 children set a record by taking part in the biggest co-ordinated reading lesson, all enjoying Born to Run by Morpurgo at exactly...
Find out moreSimon Amstell: Numb
Simon Amstell, award-winning comedian, actor/screenwriter ('Grandma’s House') and presenter ('Never Mind the Buzzcocks', 'Popworld'), returns with a...
Find out morePret to recruit more British staff after…
It is launching the programme at five schools in July to attract students with paid apprenticeships leading to managerial positions, following an Evening Standard investigation into its hiring procedures. ...
Find out moreRussian police join Scotland Yard in hun…
Lorissa Gorbuntsov urged "any person, in this country or outside the UK" to come forward with information as she spoke of her heartache over her partner German remaining in...
Find out moreDiamond Jubilee procession route is anno…
Buckingham Palace today announced details of the route senior members of the royal family will travel in horse-drawn carriages, as a public ballot opened for free tickets. The Queen...
Find out moreSelfridges suspends trade in 'raw milk'
Shops in England and Wales are not allowed to stock “raw milk” due to the threat of salmonella, E.coli and campylobacter — but since December, Selfridges has got around...
Find out moreEx-hedge fund boss to create one of Euro…
Mark Driver picked up a spade and began planting the first vines on 400 acres of farmland in East Sussex destined to become one of the largest single vineyards...
Find out moreDizzee and Katy to light up torch gig in…
The concert on July 26 will mark the end of the torch’s tour and feature performances from Dizzee Rascal, The Wanted, Eliza Doolittle, Rizzle Kicks and Wretch 32. It...
Find out moreFrom studio flat to being richer than Mc…
John Christodoulou, who runs the Yianis Group, came to London in 1974 as a boy when his family fled the Turkish invasion of Cyprus. He left school at 16...
Find out moreWar Horse puppet masters to make Hughes'…
Handspring Puppet Company UK is creating a stage version of the late Poet Laureate Ted Hughes’s celebrated Crow poems for the Greenwich and Docklands International Festival. Mervyn Millar, its...
Find out moreLife at the top... of the Shard: Penthou…
Dinner guests at the top duplex apartment will be treated to views as far as the North Sea as they enjoy food and drink prepared in the kitchens of...
Find out moreTouts charging £300 for tickets to sold-…
All 157,000 tickets for the event sold out in record time and organisers have warned people not to buy tickets off the internet. The show’s director Stephen Bennett said:...
Find out moreSevere weather hits parts of UK... with …
Temperatures in London and the south are expected to range between 9C and 12C today with the mercury reaching between 4C and 7C elsewhere, she added. Temperatures in the...
Find out morePope to celebrate mass in Cuba's Revolut…
Pope Benedict XVI was due to arrive in Santiago de Cuba following his trip to Mexico, where he spoke out against the evils of drug cartels, and charmed the...
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Policemen Jokes (3)
A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving license.
"I'm sorry Mrs Smith but it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving."
"Well," replies the woman, "I have contacts."
"I don't care who you know,
you're still going to get a ticket."
A small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The copper said, "What's he like?"
The boy replied, "Beer and women!"
A policeman pulled a car over and informed the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.
"I was only going 40!" the driver protested.
"Not according to my radar," the officer replied.
"Yes, I was!" the man shouted back.
"No, you weren't!" the policeman said, starting to get annoyed.
With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said, "Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."
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